Hard as it can be, but I’ve reached my nineteen nineteeth. Its one hour pass midnight and I think I had a good pre birthday day. =) Lets see, I zoomed around and spinned crazily on sport wheelchairs, helped two people by getting myself a foot reflexology and a shoulder massage by the blind from SAVH.. They are really nice people with good hands for such things and I’ve always wanted to drop by to try one. Watched the integration of wheelchair basketball played between both abled and disabled. I met the professional basketball team- Singapore Slingers who played a friendly on wheelchairs with one of the team and they are tall. Like towering. Its like watching a scene out of American basketball except that there were blacks, angmohs, Chinese and cute ones at that. Its kinda cool, me and ann gonna drop by their trainings soon since both of us are officers in the sport development team. Ann wants to bring the sport back to Thailand. She’s like a spark really. Whoever, that lost a boyfriend of seven years to an car accident, who was gonna be his wife in one year’s time and is still single six years on, is amazingly strong. Now, I know why she liked the way she trained and work back in Thailand when everyone would have thought the schedule was mad. Its keeps you sane. Me for one would understand that.
Friday night just got me thinking, thinking about many things that I didn’t want to feel and didn’t want to venture my thoughts into because its reality. I know what I have to give up, so if there’s anytime to start, it would be when im 19. Because 18th’s magic is over. Its strange how birthdays seem to be so hard when their at odd numbers. I had the best one when I was sixteen. =) Moon’s sweet, she’s gonna meet me for breakfast tmr. Probably the only friend that will spend part of my birthday with tmr. Love her for the effort. Others have been great too, sadha msged me a super long list of wishes and my first birthday song. =))
Hopefully, 19 is where I start learning and growing. I spent two years growing up too fast and learning so much about different things and perspectives but at the same time I came to realize that there were some things I lost and never really grew into.
I spent so much time crying and I don’t want to feel this crapped up again. For everytime I smile and am happy, I thank god for those moments. Seriously, only few understood. I pray that most wouldn’t, because I wouldn’t want anyone to have to go through this. 50 years on, this part of my life is something I wouldn’t wish to go back to.