Today is the 11th of june, the start of winter... When the season begins, the day turns cold overnight and the cold wind gets you at every corner. I was out in shorts today and yesterday but people noticed you today because its no longer warm enough to walk around with bare legs. You know its here, when the hot topic for today is how cold everything is.. In the physio room, at the bus stop, at the grocery store, the same things get heard over and over again. Its currently 14 degrees now but it will drop to 5 degrees as the lowest temp for today.
Over the week its been massage, mobility and movement analysis... I cant believe that its already the end of the semester and we are going to be examined on our practical skills on massage & mobility and our observation skills on movement analysis. As the day gets closer to donning the clinical uniform for the first time and walking into a room for the first assessment, its an impending reminder that we're an inch closer to the people that we're going to be. Looking at the Year 4s that we respect so much and knowing that some day i will have to be like them is a constant challenge everyday to meet the standards that are expected of you. I hope that as the years go by and when the pants get tighter, that i'll never lose sight of why this was the only path that i knew i had to be on and where i knew it will ultimately lead me..
Im scared everyday when i think about how much i have to change and ask of myself, the fear that clenches you like a fist when you're by the treatment bed and your patient is lying there looking at you and trusting you, its a position of authority and at that very place, with the curtains drawn, you're the person of the moment. That scenario just scares me and unfortunately for me, im put into that position several times a week. Im not a communicator and i would prefer to stay silent, so it freaks me out when i have to listen to myself talk.. It kinda is what makes the course so hard for me.. The person that i want to see in a few years will be a person that has to be different from who i am now, and im working so very hard at it.
In the meantime, as the weather changes, new changes are made around me too.. Im moving! To a place that may not be as comfy and huge as to where im staying now but i've got a feeling the housemates will make up for it. Im not friends with either of them but from what i saw on my first visit, its a close household and its one of the important things that a home for me needs. Jacq will be heading home =/ and i'll miss the caring for each other, the times where we cook, clean, wash and just do stuff together. Its a great feeling knowing that you've got someone by your back when you're all piled up behind a mountain of work, it means that i dont have to cook and she will be doing it for me! Heh, well im definitely gonna be a great addition to any household now since im the kind who will cook you a huge pot of herbal soup to share or whip up some good old fruit shake for desert even if you didnt ask. I just need a nice driver who can help me with the grocery shopping until i get my car next year. I just went thru the whole thought debate about whether a jeep or mini cooper would be my ideal car and well, i shant tell you wch won cause i figured i wont have the $$$ to get either one anyway. Maybe if i stay here, get a job, save enough to buy a brand new mini/jeep and maybe a few years down, a dog will be a huge addition to my household of one.
Sigh, things at home havnt been that great, my grandma's maid ran away to the embassy, my aunts have to take turns looking after her because she refuses to stay at my home where she can take my room and have the maid and my mum to look after her. To make things worse, the two dogs there, they're gone. They sent chivas to the pet motel and they put oscar down, because he was too old, diseased and he couldnt walk without bumping into walls all the time. That's another friend gone after more than a decade together after i lost ricky the same way too. I dont know what is gonna happen to chivas, my mum says that they will not put him up at the pet motel forever and no one is able to keep him, he howls too much when he's upset and he needs alot of attention. Those are the dogs in my life and i cant do anything to change things for them. Its hard being away and watching your life back at home run its course without you being there.
Loads of misses oscar, im gonna miss seeing you prancing around and hugging you til you wriggle off.